We’ve all found ourselves in the space where it feels like a storm is ripping through our life, and we don’t feel like we have a whole lot of control. It could be happening in any area of our lives. The most critical thing we first have to do is not trivialise the situation we are going through, even if it may seem that others have it worse.
We tend to find ourselves doing this as we don’t want to seem self-centred, but the truth is that someone will always have it worse.
During a life storm, it can be hard to see clearly or get clear about what we can control and what we can’t. Though this can seem overwhelming or even hard to face, it allows us to see things for what they are. It also allows us to be a bit kinder to ourselves. We tend to blame ourselves for everything when ultimately, we can’t control some things.
Go back to kindness
Kindness and compassion have to begin with ourselves, and this doesn’t mean bypassing or not taking responsibility for things. Still, it means even where we are at fault, realising that beating ourselves up won’t get us anywhere. I speak from experience here too, and I feel like I’m always learning more about this.
When we lay the foundations with some kindness, we can unravel the story around a situation. We can acknowledge where to take responsibility, and then we can begin letting go.
Embrace surrender to ride the storm
Surrender always sounds good in practice, but we are human. It’s a process. I suggest it’s a case of meeting yourself where you are at with it, again and again, remember we all process things differently.
Our relationship with trust comes up. When things fall apart, we struggle to trust ourselves for many reasons. The key here is to rebuild that in a way that feels good to you.
Double down on self care
Self-care and how we look after ourselves is paramount when going through a tough time, and often it’s the thing we don’t do as we are so disconnected from ourselves. We have to learn to regulate our nervous system when going through a challenging situation. Without realising when things blow up, we don’t feel safe and safe in our bodies.
Make learning about regulating your nervous system a priority as it will change your life. It won’t change the issue, but your responses and coping will differ. It often boils down to an unregulated nervous system, and no one teaches us at school.
Lastly, storms do pass, and we can’t always control what’s left behind from them. Remember, talk to people who feel good and safe, don’t ride a life storm alone. Focus on the things you can do, get out in nature and don’t blame yourself, quite simply life happens, and things happen. We may have to learn from something that can be tough, but we also have to learn compassion.
Rather than putting time limits on how things should go when they blow over, let these few words be a reminder “healing takes love”.